Who’s in your corner? 5 types of people every solo mum should have in their life

The rock is more than a babysitter or someone who picks up milk when you’ve forgotten. This is the person who offers true emotional stability. They show up again and again with kindness, calm and zero judgement. They don’t have to fix anything. They just make everything feel a little more manageable.

It could be your mum, your cousin or a childhood friend. Whoever it is, you trust them completely. Not everyone starts their solo mum journey with a rock already in place – and that’s OK. Sometimes this kind of person appears after you have started your journey. Don’t be afraid to lean into new relationships, or to tell someone close to you what kind of support you really need. It’s often surprising who rises to the occasion.

Here is another solo mum who gets it. Maybe you met her through an online community or a local group. She understands the joy, the stigma, the questions from strangers and the deep pride of raising a child on your own. You don’t have to explain her anything because she’s walking a similar path.

Whether you meet in person or online, this kind of connection is priceless. From donor choices to toddler tantrums, she has been through the same and you can share experiences, stories and support.

This person shows up. Maybe it’s your neighbour who pops by with dinner, or the friend who rearranges his or her afternoon so you can make that doctor’s appointment. They’re the ones who know where your spare key is, who you can text at 16:45 when you're stuck in traffic and your child needs to be picked up now.

Practical helpers often prefer to do rather than talk. You may not talk to them every week, but you know that when life throws you a curveball like a sick child or a delayed train, they’ll roll up their sleeves and help you sort it out. What matters most is their reliability. You don’t need them all the time, but when you do, they’re there.

Solo motherhood is intense and it’s easy to forget you’re also a friend, a bookworm or a karaoke queen. This person helps you reconnect with the you that existed before nappy changes and nursery runs.

The-just-for-you-friend asks about you. Your passions, your dreams, your dating life, your bad day at work and not just your child’s latest milestone. This is what often makes this friendship feel like a breath of fresh air.

This friend might take you out for a spontaneous coffee or send you a silly meme when you’ve had a tough day. These little nudges back to your own identity are gold. Especially when so much of your life is centred around someone else’s routines. And even if you say no more often than yes? This person will still invite you, because your friend knows that one day you’ll say yes again.

While studies show that children do not need two parents to thrive, some solo mums by choice value having one or more trusted men in their child’s life. A male role model offers a different kind of energy, perspective and connection. And often your child will simply benefit from seeing that adults come in all kinds of packages.

He could be a grandfather who loves to build LEGOs on the living room floor. A godfather who takes your child to football matches. Or a close friend who introduces your child to his favourite childhood books. He’s not there to “fill a gap” because there isn’t one. He’s simply part of your child’s broader circle of care.

You’re already proving that love makes a family. So when doubts creep in (and they will), ask yourself: Who’s in my corner? And then remember that you get to build your own team, your own village – and we’re here for you, too.

If you need any help, we are always ready to guide you on your solo mum journey. Book a free consultation with one of our advisors.